His voice trembled, almost a plea: “Mia, is what she said… all true? We’ve been together for three years, and this…. did you really do this?”
I stood rooted to the spot, looking at his eyes, once so full of love, now clouded with doubt and pain. I knew he instinctively hoped to hear my explanation, hoping it was all a misunderstanding. I stood there, but I couldn’t speak. Because my eyes had been blind- ed by desire, even an explanation would sound hollow and meaningless. I could only silently lower my head, allowing his heart to break into pieces. It was as if I had already forgotten every single moment we shared.
I tried to defend myself, but the words caught in my throat. Because I knew, no matter what I said, I couldn’t get back what we once had. The feeling Ethan gave me was something I was unwilling to give up at that moment. Just like the song says: “Impulsive hea- rts rarely hear pleas to stay.”
Jake watched my silence, seemingly receiving the answer he least wanted. The anger flickering in his eyes erupted instantly, like an unleashed beast. He furiously charged at the meticulously prepared birthday dinner. He flipped the table with force. Plates, bow- Is, and food scattered everywhere, turning into a complete mess,
I could understand his rage and disappointment. This was supposed to be a warm birthday celebration, but it had turned into such a disaster because of my betrayal. Every dish on that table was my favorite, and each one represented his love and care for me.
Now, however, they were witnesses to our broken relationship, becoming an indelible pain in his heart. This birthday, for him, would
2219
probably truly be the greatest heartbreak of his life. And I would never forget this moment, the pain I had caused him.
And just like that, Jake broke up with me.
I dragged my heavy feet out of his house. Standing alone on the street, the cold wind cut through me like knives, but what was even harder to bear was the profound loneliness and chill in my heart. I tried to find a shred of warmth, a bit of comfort, but all aro- und me were only indifferent streetlights and hurrying passersby.
I closed my eyes, trying to recall our beautiful past moments. Those sweet smiles, tender embraces, affectionate goodbyes… Ever- ything felt like it was just yesterday, but now it was so utterly out of reach. I tried to grasp those fragments of memories, but they slipped through my fingers like quicksand, leaving only emptiness and helplessness.
However, when I opened my eyes, only flashes of my time with Ethan remained in my mind. Those exhilarating scenes, intense passion, endless desire… They swirled in my mind like nightmares, refusing to let me go. I realized that I had been completely con- sumed by desire, unable to return to the innocent, kind person I once was.
I stood in the wind, letting the cold air whip my face and carry away my tears. But thinking about Ethan’s presence still eased my mood a little. Ethan’s image floated into my mind. Though I knew my relationship with him wasn’t pure love, at least in that mome- nt, he had given me a feeling of being needed, of being accompanied.
I picked up my phone and dialed Ethan’s number. His familiar voice came through the phone, but it seemed tinged with a subtle, almost imperceptible coldness and distance. Even so, I chose to ignore these subtle changes. I just hoped to find some solace from him.
We agreed on a meeting place. When I saw him, he was still as outwardly enthusiastic as before. It felt like we were back to the very beginning. However, this enthusiasm didn’t last long.
As time went on, I gradually noticed the subtle shift in Ethan’s attitude toward me. He no longer contacted me first. Whenever I called him, he would either hang up quickly or not answer at all. Messages on chat apps went into the abyss. I often stared at the screen, hoping for some possible reply, but usually, all I got was icy silence.
This change made me feel incredibly uneasy and anxious. I started replaying our time together, trying to find the root of the probl- em. Was there something I hadn’t done well enough? Was he facing some difficulty or trouble? I tried various ways to check on him, but each attempt was fruitless. His needs for me were purely physical, and nothing else, leaving me feeling incredibly helpless and lost.
