leave now.
I shook my head and insisted on saying what
was on my mind.
“Do you and Lily think that I left this family
because I was too disappointed and sad?”
John sniffed and nodded heavily: “Yes.”
“But that’s not the case. My choice to
participate in this project has nothing to do
with anyone. I just wanted to do something for
our country. I am grateful to Emily, at least
during that time, she did help me solve a lot of
problems, even if she lied a little, it was not her
fault.”
John should have been crying even harder.
I continued: “She likes you, and you used to like
her, isn’t it good to be with her, why bother to
make me suffer.”
“What about you, what about you and me…”
“I must have loved you once, but later, I really
didn’t love you anymore. Before entering the
lab, I didn’t love you anymore. I’m an ambitious
person, you know, I generally don’t let go of the
people or things I want, and since I let go, I’m
<
not going to want it anymore.”
“You still won’t forgive me.”
I smiled bitterly: “John, why don’t you
understand, it’s not that I don’t forgive you, it’s
that I don’t love you anymore!”
He was still unwilling to give up: “If it weren’t
for those things, you wouldn’t have participated
in…”
“No, I will go.”
“Why? If we were good, if our daughter was
well–behaved and sensible, how would you
leave…”
“Because the country needs me more than
you!”
The words fell.
I seemed to have used all my strength.
My eyelids are so heavy.
I closed my eyes blankly.
In my ears, the machine beeped and nurses and
doctors poured in.
