He looked startled, but quickly got up and followed.
From then on, we spent every gym class in the classroom, studying together. Gradually, the tension in his face eased, replaced by smiles. When it was time to reassign seats, I requested to be his desk partner.
I started using the psychology I was teaching myself to help him.
Out classmates whispered around us. “The drama queen and the ice princess are sitting together!”
“One has no friends, the other wants no friends. They’re a perfect match.”
20.48
Chapter 1
One day, as I walked into class, a boy from the back row let out a long wolf–whistle. “Hey, Ice Princess, why are you so nice to him? Is he your boyfr-
iend, or your lab rat?”
“They say people who study psychology are messed up themselves. So, what’s your damage?”
Before I could react, Benjamin launched himself from behind me. He, who had always tried so hard to get along with everyone, was in his first–ever fight. He beat those boys bloody, and ended up hospitalized for a month himself.
We were inseparable after that.
I remember the first time I mentioned the internship abroad. He couldn’t sleep for days. I’d wake up in the middle of the night to find him just wat- ching me, his eyes bloodshot. “Cynthia, are you leaving me too? Will I be all alone again?”
My resolve melted. I never brought it up again.
But this time, I was the one being left behind.
My phone buzzed. A message from my professor: The heart finds its vastness in distant horizons; the steps find their newness with the passing
of time. Cynthia, everything is a part of growth.
I’ve submitted your application. Prepare well. I believe in you.
I smiled and replied with a simple, “Okay.”
I had just stepped out of the apartment when Benjamin’s call came through.
He was furious. “Cynthia! What the hell did you just tell everyone?”
“Do you have any idea they’re all attacking Maya now? You need to go and clear this up right now and then publicly apologize to her!”
My voice was ice. “Apologize for what? The fact that you two are having an affair isn’t exactly a secret, is it? You postponed our engagement to go
to her dog’s birthday party and gave her my gown to wear.”
“Even the dumbest asshole in a bad novel isn’t as stupid as you. When your mother gave birth, did she throw you out and raise the placenta inste-
ad?”
“Cynthia!” Benjamin roared, his anger palpable. “Don’t you go too far! Maya just really liked the gown and wanted to try it on, that’s all.”
“I never realized you were so petty. Are you really going to be jealous of a young girl?”
Maya’s tearful sobs echoed through the phone. “It’s okay, Benjamin. Didn’t Cynthia have… psychological problems before? I should be more unde- rstanding. It’s all my fault. Don’t get upset with a… a mentally ill person.”
My blood ran cold. It felt as if an invisible hand had clenched around my heart, squeezing so tightly I could barely breathe.
It was my deepest, darkest secret.
