Sarah had no idea. She linked her arm through mine, and I gratefully leaned on her for support. My legs felt shaky.
“She’s right, little bro. I want to meet your girlfriend. Don’t be stingy.” I looked directly at Ashley, my voice steady.
Then, the “girlfriend” in question called out weakly, “Ashley, honey? Could you come here? I think my blood sugar is low.”
Ashley rushed to her side, all concern. “Emily! What’s wrong? Do we need to go to the hospital?”
Sarah, worried, pulled me toward the living room.
Emily, in a white sundress, leaned against Ashley. She smiled
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apologetically. “Sorry to worry you. I skipped lunch. Just need a little sugar.” Her gaze shifted to me. “And who is this?”
Ashley, quick to cover, said, “Just a friend of Sarah’s.” Then, pointedly, “We don’t really know each other.”
…We don’t know each other. Right.
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I’d never imagined dating Ashley. He was three years younger, and we’d grown up together. I’d witnessed his tearful tantrums and goofy teenage phases. Before he confessed his feelings, I’d never seen him as anything but a kid brother.
But that changed one winter night two years ago. I had a terrible cold and was working late. When I got to my apartment, I found Ashley shivering on my doorstep. I didn’t know how long he’d been waiting, too nervous to ask when I’d be home. He’d come to confess his feelings.
He brightened when he saw me, pulling a slightly wilted bouquet of roses from his coat. He’d been more worried about the flowers freezing than himself. At his feet sat a bag filled with cold medicine.
“Ashley, I saw your
post. I don’t want you to be sick and alone anymore. And I don’t want to keep caring about you secretly. I like you.” He’d been so earnest, so nervous.
I’d laughed it off, thinking he was delirious from the cold. As I turned to go inside, he grabbed my arm. His eyes were red–rimmed, his voice thick with emotion. “Ashley, please don’t reject me. Please…”
Something shifted in me. His closeness, his vulnerability… it reminded me that he wasn’t just the boy I’d grown up with. He was a man.
I still said no. It felt too weird. We were like siblings.
But he persisted. For a year, he was there whenever I needed him. A
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forgotten umbrella on a rainy day, agonizing period cramps in winter, a stranded evening commute… he filled the gaps in my life. He’d appear like a loyal puppy, eyes shining, calling out, “Ashley! Over here!”
