Chapter 5
Raphael set the camera on its stand and flopped onto the nearby sofa.
“Are you nervous?” he asked.
I shook my head calmly.
Looking surprised, he raised his eyebrows. He asked, “How are you feeling right now?”
“Excited,” I said.
It felt like the energy my illness had drained from me was slowly coming back, thanks to something new and fun.
Raphael began talking to me like we were old friends.
As time went on, he grew quieter, and I started taking the lead in front of
the camera.
I began, “I think my life falls into three parts.
“The first part was the first 18 years. I lost my dad in middle school and my mom in high school. I had no siblings. I went to college alone and lived on my own.
“The next six years were about love and ambition, building a business. with the person I loved.
“And the last three years were all about illness, pain, and a love that rotted from the inside out.”
When I talked about my parents, I mentioned how it went from two
000
07.52
Chapter 5
people handling the funeral, until now, it’s just me visiting both their
graves.
“They loved me a lot, but they left way too soon. If I could change one thing about my story, it’d be that.”
When I talked about starting my business, I once drank eight men under the table–all by myself.
“That was our first big win! I went ahead and bought a house on my own! and for the first time in a while, I felt like I had a home again.”
Talking about getting sick, it went from despair to hope, then back to despair, and finally to acceptance.
“Maybe that’s just how life works. The only thing I regret is losing so many days stuck in the hospital.”
By midnight, I was completely worn out.
Even though Raphael said he saw me like a normal person, the color draining from my face still scared him, making him feel both nervous and guilty.
I pushed myself to walk him out the door, wanting to hold onto a little bit of pride.
As soon as I got back, I collapsed onto the bed, and in less than three seconds, everything went black.
When I opened my eyes again, it was already midday.
I had been asleep for a really long time.
I opened the door after tidying up and nearly jumped at the sight of an unfamiliar figure on the floor.
וד
Chapter 5
It took a second glance to realize that it was Raphael.
He stood up slowly with the help of the wall
like he had been holding it in.
and let out a quiet breath
The moment I noticed his bloodshot eyes and the camera gear lying nearby, a sudden thought hit me, but it was hard to believe.
“You stayed out here all night? You never left?”
He tried to explain himself, but his brain was sluggish from staying up all night. It took him a while to finally say, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to look down on you. Please don’t be mad.”
He really meant that apology.
I wasn’t sure whether I should laugh or cry.
He let out a breath and bent down to pick up the camera gear. “You should go rest some more,” he said.
He was so tired that he could barely walk straight, so I gently grabbed his hand and rested it on my shoulder.
When I felt how tense he was, I joked, “What’s the matter? Has the famous director ever dated anyone before? Or never held a girl like this?”
He was surprisingly innocent.
Then I heard a quiet answer above me, “No.”
And just like that, both of us were embarrassed.
