Hooked at my reflection in the vanity mirror. At the faint handprint on my cheek that even makeup couldn’t completely hide.
Sadie had been heartbroken when she saw it.
But I hadn’t heard a single sincere apology from my husband or my son.
They were acting as if nothing had happened.
Leo’s lip jutted out. “Mommy, if you don’t sleep with me, then
food either!”
not letting you
take me to school tomorrow! And I won’t eat your
- TH.
ww
H
Leo had night blindness; he’d been afraid of the dark since he was a baby.
to stay with you?”
I met his angry gaze in the mirror. “Leo, if you’re so afraid of the dark, why don’t you
ask your
father
“Daddy has to work. You don’t do anything all day but spend Daddy’s money. Isn’t it your job to put me to sleep?”
“So, if I stop spending Daddy’s money, does that mean I don’t have to put you to sleep anymore?”
Leo let out a cold sneer, his tone a perfect imitation of his father’s. “Don’t be ridiculous, Mom. You’re not smart and successful like
Auntie Rosalie. If you didn’t spend Dad’s money, where would you get any? From Grandpa? But even Grandpa says you’re the most
useless person in the family!”
5
I had heard words like these my entire life.
I wasn’t as brilliant as Rosalie.
I wasn’t as educated as Rosalie.
All the best things were meant for Rosalie.
It was like our names themselves were a prophecy.
She was Rosalie, the bloom.
I was Elara, the block of wood.
I was used to it. Numb to it.
But I had never, ever imagined that one day, I would hear those same words from the mouth of the son I had carried for nine mont- hs, the son I had risked my life to bring into this world.
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Chapter 1
My hands trembled.
An icy chill shot up from the soles of my feet to the crown of my head.
I felt rage, and a deep, wounded sorrow.
And then, all emotion receded, leaving behind a dead, still pool, incapable of even a ripple.
I spoke to Leo softly. “Fine. Then make sure you get up early tomorrow. Mommy won’t be making you breakfast.”
6
I didn’t have to make breakfast for Leo.
I didn’t feel the familiar pang of sadness over David once again staying out all night.
I slept soundly.
At five in the morning, I got up and packed a few essentials.
10.45
As I dragged my suitcase out the door, Leo was still fast asleep, long past the time he should have been getting up for school.
I took one last look at the home I had so carefully nurtured for so long.
The clean clothes I had washed were
ying on the balcony.
ww
་་རྐངར་ན་ལྟར་རྡོ་ ང་་བར་་་ར་སྐུངར་ནན་ ད་ ༢རཞུང་ལ་བལྟ་ག་རྡོ་ཤ་ན
www
The ivy I had tended to was thriving, its vines sprawling beautifully.
The potted plants were lush and green.
Except for a few cigarette butts that David had carelessly stubbed out in the soil of the succulents,
We had fought about him doing that
many times.
He never listened.
Xix
afs
And Leo had learned from his example. When he was bored, he liked to pull the leaves off my plants, leaving the once–healthy gre-
enery tattered and torn.
Getting angry at them had never worked.
Looking at them now, I realized those plants were just like me.
Objects to be treated with casual indifference.
I stood there for a long time.
I knew I would never come back here.
And I knew that David and Leo would never be able to take care of them.
F
After a long silence, I sent a message to my neighbor, who also loved gardening: [If you wouldn’t mind, could I give you all my plan- ts? I’d love for them to have a good home.]
7
Nine hours later, the plane landed in Ardencroft.
I turned on my phone.
Dozens of missed calls and messages.
All from David.
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Chapter 1
[Where are you?]
[What kind of mother are you? Leo was late for school, don’t you care?]
10 45
[Elara, are you seriously still sulking about me and your sister? Are you insane? She’s your sister, what do you think is going to hap-
pen?]
[How old are you, running away like this? You’re not even answering your father’s calls?]
[Hah. No wonder your own father can’t stand you.]
[You’ll just never be as good as your sister, Rosalie.]
I stared at the messages. My emotions, which I thought were long dead, stirred with a faint ripple of pain.
