Chapter 5
On my way home, I kept thinking about what Markus meant by
his words.
+
I thought about it for a long time but couldn’t figure it out, just
like I never understood why he showed up alone on that old
building’s rooftop over a decade ago.
But none of it mattered to me anymore because I was quitting.
We’d probably never see each other again.
The day I quit was rainy. The rain in the south was always light
and heavy, pattering down like it’d never stop.
I sat at my desk, silently packing up my stuff.
I had been in this spot for almost ten years, growing from a clueless girl in my early twenties to someone who could handle
things on my own now.
I knew that every morning at nine, the sunlight would hit the
cactus I had.
I also knew that if I tiptoed quietly, I could catch a glimpse of Markus through the gap.
I had been holding on to these little things to get by in this
world but now I was leaving
Chapter 5
I had been holding on to these little things to get by in this
world, but now I was leaving.
I had repaid my debt of gratitude for eight years. It was time for
Judith to be with Markus for the rest of his life.
Eva’s eyes were watery as she looked at me. I wiped her tears
and smiled, “Come on, it’s not like we’ll never see each other
again.”
But deep down, I knew we probably wouldn’t.
This city had too many painful memories for me. It was time to
leave.
When I turned to go, I felt a bit of regret. I had dragged things
out for so long, but I never got to see Markus one last time.
After I quit, I slept a lot at home, like I was making up for all the
sleep I missed over the years.
I even bought some booze and cranked the TV all the way up.
There was a comedy on, and I laughed my head off, like a
complete fool.
But after the laughter died down, I sat there on the floor, staring at the dark room, feeling kind of lost and not knowing what to
do next.
Chapter 5
J
When I was little, all I wanted was to do well in school. I thought
if I got good grades, my parents wouldn’t fight.
Then my dad left, and my wish was to make a lot of money so
my mom could live on.
After my mom passed away, I wanted to be Markus‘ right–hand
woman. If he was happy, I figured I’d be happy too.
But now, I didn’t even know what I wanted anymore.
I was zoning out when the doorbell rang. I looked through the
peephole and saw Markus.
I opened the door in a rush and then realized I was still in my
pink bunny pajamas.
It was too late to close the door, so I had to suck it up, invite
Markus in, and try to look somewhat professional.
Markus was way calmer than me. He said, “I called you.
“The document for today is urgent. I couldn’t find the backup,
and I happened to be driving nearby.”
I blushed for a second, but then I put on my professional smile
again. “Okay. Please have a seat. Let me look it up.”
While I was searching for the document, Markus sat on the
Chapter 5
couch. He didn’t look around because he was raised to be polite,
so he kept looking at me.
It made me uneasy. The more nervous I got, the harder it was to
find the document.
Markus smiled, “Take your time.”
Then he asked, “Doesn’t your fiancé live here?”
I lied without thinking, “He’ll be back later tonight.”
I spent a good half hour gathering all the documents I needed,
printing them out, and handing them to Markus.
When he took the papers, he suddenly stared at me, and it made
me feel a bit awkward.
Just as I was about to speak, he smiled–that same warm but
distant smile. “I’m getting married soon, and I can’t find anyone
to handle it. Can you help me out? I’ll pay you your regular salary,
of course.”
I had never said no to Markus before, and my body seemed to
answer before my mind did.
I nodded for no particular reason and then watched as he gave a faint smile. The words I was about to say got stuck in my
throat.
Chapter 5
After that day, I found myself back by Markus‘ side, organizing
his engagement party.
I guessed it was for the best. Maybe seeing him get married with my own eyes was the only way for me to truly let go.
