5
With no work scheduled the next day, I slept until noon.
Well-fed and well-rested, I was in a great mood.
I opened social media to post an update but saw Jake Rivers’ name trending.
Hashtags:
#JakeRiversImAFish
#JakeRiversJealous
#RiversAndYouNotOfficialYet
Fish, jealous, relationship…
What was going on?
I scratched my head, not understanding.
Sitting up, I scrolled through the comments to figure out what happened.
Last night at 3 AM, Jake Rivers had posted a poem:
“Hi everyone, I’m Jake Fish.
Ridiculous nickname, species: clownfish, current status: sour soup fish.”
After reading it, my first reaction was: what terrible writing.
My second reaction: Jake Rivers really did drunk-post! Hahaha!
With the joy of victory and eagerness to mock him, I immediately opened our chat.
There were dozens of unread messages.
“Why so many messages…”
I mumbled, jumping to the unread section.
That’s when I discovered I had sent him two messages first:
“What should I do when I want to touch my crush’s chest muscles every time I see him?”
“Is Jake Rivers really 6’1″?”
There was also a voice message:
“What’s going on? Why isn’t anything coming up? Is ‘abs’ a banned word? Can’t search this either?”
“Hello! Anyone there?”
I had treated Jake Rivers like a search engine.
His reaction was huge, completely exploding:
“I’m 6’1″ WITHOUT SHOES!!!”
An hour later, he exploded again:
“When the hell did you get a crush?!”
“Answer me, stop playing dead.”
“Fiona! You better be asleep. [smile]”
“What does that make ME?! [angry][angry]”
“You’re something else, really.”
“Stop ignoring me to chat with your crush… give this fish some attention… [crying]”
He kept waiting, sending messages intermittently.
By 3 AM, he sent a final message:
“I’m going to bed.”
And then… he went crazy on social media.
Wrote that “I’m a Fish” poem.
