And Maya.
Maya was leaning against him, one arm draped over his shoulders. He was looking down, holding her arm, gently blowing on it. His face was a mask of overflowing concern. “I told you to hold on to me when you got out of the car. You didn’t listen. Now look, you’ve fallen. You really don’t know how to take care of yourself.”
I stood a short distance–away, watching them, my fists clenched. Even though I was completely disillusioned with him, my heart still ached.
“Oh, Cynthia’s here,” Maya said, spotting me with a bright, beaming smile. “I came with Benjamin to pick you up.”
Seeing me, Benjamin instinctively let go of her. “Maya just got back to the country and doesn’t have much to do, so I brought her to see the comp- any. She just fell, so I was checking on her.”
Maya’s lips curled into a smirk. “That’s right, Cynthia. Please don’t get the wrong idea. We. Weren’t. Doing. Anything.”
She enunciated the last few words slowly, as if flaunting something.
was so disgusted I could feel my hands shaking.
Ever since she had returned, Benjamin had been drifting away from our relationship. He would ditch me to pick her up, disappear for hours on end. The last few days were just a culmination of countless similar incidents. And he always hid behind the excuse of being her childhood friend, leavi-
ng me with no ground to stand on.
But that was all over now. We were done. I no longer had to play the part of the tolerant, understanding girlfriend.
walked over to them, raised my hand, and delivered two sharp slaps, one for each of them.
Benjamin was stunned, staring at me in disbelief. “Cynthia, why did you hit me?”
I looked at him coldly. “Benjamin, we are broken up. I don’t want to see you, and I don’t want to see your new girlfriend. Even if you two are madly
in love, do you really have to flaunt it in my face? Is your relationship somehow incomplete without me as a witness?”
“If you ever dare to pull this kind of stunt in front of me again, I’ll hit you every time I see you.”
Without waiting for a response, I turned to leave, ignoring the look of pure disgust on his face.
But Maya grabbed my arm.
It was only then that I realized we weren’t alone. A group of Maya’s followers were standing behind them. She had brought an audience, no doubt to bolster her own ego and humiliate me. But my unexpected retaliation must have infuriated her.
Maya’s face was flushed red. She shoved me, and I fell to the ground.
The contents of my bag scattered everywhere.
Including a faded, yellowing journal.
Before I could retrieve it, Maya snatched it up. She flipped through a few pages, a smirk playing on her lips.
It was my record of my episodes.
Maya began to read aloud.
“May 10, 2024. Tremors in hands, lasting 20 minutes.”
“March 6, 2022. Hypervigilance. Constantly reliving the incident.”
The dates went further and further back.
I desperately tried to get the journal back, but her friends blocked my way.
“August 9, 2014. I was dragged by the old man from the neighboring village into…”
Her voice trailed off. She looked up at me, shocked.
The chatter around us died down, leaving only the sound of my own frantic heartbeat.
Chapter
She quickly flipped through a few more pages, muttering to herself, “I thought it was just a bad mood…. how could it be…”
Her friends held me back. I stared at her, praying silently that she wouldn’t read any more.
Benjamin shouted at her to shut up. But I saw it clearly in his eyes–it wasn’t concern for me, but disgust for my past.
Someone in the crowd jeered, “Go on, Maya, read the rest! What happened after the pervert dragged her away?”
But Maya snapped the journal shut. “The old man robbed her, that’s all. Nothing to see here.”
She tossed the journal back at me and waved to her friends. “I’m bored. Let’s go. She’s no fun. Let’s not bother her again.”
I picked up my journal and turned to leave.
In my peripheral vision, I saw Benjamin let out a sigh of relief.
I don’t remember how I got to the seminar that day, or how it ended. My mind was in a fog, with only one thought repeating itself.
Benjamin hadn’t lied about one thing. Maya was just a spoiled brat, not truly malicious.
The truly malicious one had always been Benjamin.
He depended on me, was grateful to me, but at the same time, he was repulsed by my less–than–glamorous past.
The familiar self–loathing washed over me, a suffocating wave. I dug my nails into my palms, the pain forcing me back to reality.
Don’t let him affect you, I told myself.
